Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Un-Coordinated Independent Ambidexterity

This blog is dedicated to advocating logic and consistency.

Not in a boring, science-way mind, nor even in a filmic continuity sense (no pointing out the telegraph pole in the spinning-arrow shot from ‘Robin Hood Prince of Thieves’ here!).

"Illogical, Captain."

Rather, ‘Left Hand, Meet Right Hand’ is a showcase for all the individuals on the Internet who make silly comments with complete disregard for decent, coherent logic.

If you find a post on a forum thread or in the comments section of a blog which lacks consistency to such a degree that your very soul demands that you tell everyone about it, then this is the place to name and shame them. Or perhaps the blog itself contains the inconsistency - all variations are acceptable!

"You'll Never Need More Than 640k..."

Included within this scope are public statements from companies (or their employees) that make it onto the Internet. In fact, it is one of these instances that led me to create LHMRH in the first place; one that I believe perfectly typifies the kind of inconsistencies that arise due to lack of departmental communication and as such needs exposing – or at least placing up high for everyone else to point at and laugh.

No, There Is No Cash Equivalent. I Could Possibly Stretch To Half A Mini BabyBel, Though...

In an attempt to make this more interesting, I will assign a score to each published LHMRH, based on how illogical/inconsistent its content is. Supporting evidence (for example, contradictory posts by the same person) will garner extra points, as will submissions that feature ironic developments (see THE ONE THAT STARTED IT ALL to get an idea).

Please note, this points system will almost certainly be arbitrary and there will in no way be some kind of objective guidelines for people to skim over – I just don’t like that kind of pressure. Your best bet is to send in something that you found interesting or funny and pray that I do, too.

'My Other Car Is An iMac...'

A little bit of advice: everyone is aware that fanboys (particularly games console and personal computer specimens) will exhibit this kind of attitude; to reflect this, humdrum repetitions will attract point deductions. I'm looking for originality here.

So, go. Shoo. Find things, email them to me and, if I agree that it qualifies, you may then bask in the knowledge of your infinitely superior command of linguistic consistency.

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